By Ari Kaye
When it comes to college, fashion is a big part of life. During this pivotal moment of self expression and discovery, how you dress represents who you are. So, as a guy pretending that he knows even the slightest about women’s fashion, I’m going to tell you how to wear the flip out of a black pencil skirt.
Step one: Figure out what a pencil skirt is. This may be obvious to most of the readers, but for the select few like myself, I needed to gain some knowledge on the subject. Since Google has been my friend for a while now, this wasn’t too hard, and much to my surprise and slight confusion, they just look like normal skirts. So after some slightly weirder skirt themed searches that will forever be added to my Google search history, I decided to call my 15-year-old sister to find out what’s so special about pencil skirts, because who knows more about fashion than a teenage girl from California. After an awkward explanation as to why I wanted to know how to wear one, she told me that what’s cool about a pencil skirt is how versatile they are, and how they go with anything, especially black ones. I thought that was pretty neat and thus declare the black pencil skirt to be the jeans of skirts, besides, you know, for actual jean skirts.
Step two: Now that you know what it is, learn how to wear it. Well, like I just mentioned above, they’re pretty versatile and go with anything. You could pair one with an oversized sweater with a different Universities logo on it to look cool and ironic. You could even take that one step further and layer a pair of sweatpants with yet another University’s logo on it under the pencil skirt, which is, from what I hear, a fan favorite outfit for late night studying in Brookdale Lounge. The black pencil skirt doesn’t stop there though, oh no. Team one up with your favorite blouse and fanciest shoes for a dressed up look perfect for the next Stern Shabbaton, a night out on the town, or every day for a week because you’re lying to yourself about being a responsible adult because you still haven’t done your laundry since the semester started. Basically, the skirt can be worn with anything, anytime, from ultra-casual to ultra-fancy and everything in between.
Step three: Take it one step further. It only seems fair that for a skirt that can do anything, you should actually do anything and everything with. I’m talking getting funky, and maybe even a little weird with it. Why not allow this magical item of clothing to transcend just being a skirt? Let’s say you’ve been putting off laundry for the third week in a row now and you’ve officially run out of towels. BAM! Grab yourself a pencil skirt and make dry off in style. Can’t find your hipster tote bag that you bought at the Strand for a price you’re uncomfortable sharing with your friends? Break out the needle and thread and make yourself a genuine pencil skirt tote. Need a new place to store all your stationery? Snatch up one of your magical skirts and make like that popular Christopher Nolan movie that everyone only pretends to understand, and turn it into a pencil-skirt pencil case filled with your finest pencils.
The black pencil skirt is one of the most useable items in a girl’s wardrobe, which makes it one of the most valuable. If you don’t own one already, I suggest you go out and buy one, maybe even from the new Target that opened up down the street from Stern. I’ve already gone out and bought three for myself, and I’m not even gonna wear any of them, they’re that versatile. You won’t regret it, I promise, I certainly don’t.